top of page
  • Writer's pictureTLALOCO

To Be New Again…Reincarnation?

Updated: Sep 30, 2023

History tells us that reincarnation is the rebirth of the soul into the body of a new creature or person.

In fact most of the major religions hold a belief in reincarnation, especially Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, and Sikhism.

Our earliest Christian scriptures speak of ‘incarnation’ of God into a man called Jesus. That’s right ese, it’s possible that your gardener/handyman is the Holy Vato!

Remember those times you wished you were some body or something else?

Maybe, at your lowest point in life, you begged to have balance in your crazy life.

Or you saw something that made you happy and content and wished you were it.

Perhaps, at the high point of your life, tu sabes, that firme job, a child's birth, and passionate love... you had a thought, “Is there more to life?”

Not likely. That is life...until you wish to be something else. But those high and low moments made you a different person. You just didn't realize it at the time. Pero, we aren't talking about "the moments that change us" stuff. That's boring! Here at PuroChisme we delve into what could be, not what is. Símon, que Yes, we make shit up!

We are talking about our SOUL and what happens after we leave our bodies and this tierra we call earth. Is there such a thing as reincarnation? Well, if countless millions of religious followers think so, why can't we at least consider the possibility?

Our merry band of bloggers investigated the most popular reincarnation wants and desires of Raza.

We found that some Raza imagined being eagles soaring in the sky. Some lions, the King of the jungle, and even some thought of being a dog.

But all those animals have to work to survive. They have to hunt, make nests, search for mates and put up with people. Wouldn't it be better to have the best attributes of all these beasts without the hassles? Well, we went on a mission to find the best reincarnation animal to become. Pay attention Raza!

After careful, painstaking caca-lations and mucho mezcal we arrived at what we consider to be the best creature for the rebirth of our souls:

Why an octopus? Pues, consider these tenacious facts that strongly suggest our very own Raza may even carry the Octo-DNA:

They are Octopus Gangsters (OG’s) – They are one of those creature groups that beat science fiction to the punch: big-eyed, multi-armed, soft-bodied, shape-shifting and venomous, with intelligence that can match wits with us. Aliens sure, but not illegal. They are homegrown evolving during the Earth’s pre-Jurassic period.

Scientists found the oldest known ancestor fossil of octopuses in Montana that lived approximately 330 million-year ago.

Montana? Talk about shape-shifting!

The researchers concluded the ancient creature lived millions of years earlier than previously believed.

Meaning that octopuses originated before the era of dinosaurs. They are the Original G's!

Today 300 or so species are distributed among temperate, subtropical and tropical waters around the globe and occupy habitats from coral reefs down to the ocean floor.

The first Low-Riders of the sea – OG’s, along with their primos (squids and cuttlefishes) are masters of camouflage, literally changing color, brightness, pattern and even texture in a flash to hide in plain sight or advertise for a homie lover. That’s right ese, you’ll find these OG Players cruising along the sea floor looking for a good time.

Octopus have three corazones and nine brains – Two of the hearts work exclusively to move blood beyond the animal’s gills, while the third keeps circulation flowing for the organs.

The organ heart actually stops beating when the octopus swims, explaining their desire for cruising along the sea floor with their arms rather than swimming, which exhausts them. This might also explain why we don’t have Chicano swimmers in the Olympics. PuroChisme!

They got Old School habits – Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, in History of Animals, written in 350 BC, that “it [Octopus] is neat and thrifty in its habits: that is, it lays up stores in its nest, and, after eating up all that is eatable, it ejects the shells and sheaths of crabs and shell-fish, and the skeletons of little fishes…it ejects ink for self-defense, it’s slimy, it can crawl on land.” “Cephalopod” is Greek for “head-foot,” which makes sense since OG’s limbs are attached directly to their head.

It is the first creature that can multitask – Two-thirds of an octopus’ neurons reside in its arms, not its head. As a result, the arms can problem solve how to open a shellfish while their owners are busy doing something else, like checking out a cave for more edible goodies.

OG’s are standouts in the cephalopod crowd, and among all invertebrates, for their large brains.

They can navigate mazes, solve problems, remember, and predict.

They can use tools and take apart just about anything from a crab to a lock.

OG's, soft bodies can fit into impossibly small nooks and crannies.

As long as the holes are not smaller than the only hard part of their bodies: their beaks.

These OG’s can throw Chingasos too – Like eight handmaidens, an octopus’s arms can perform separate tasks simultaneously. Thanks to a large nerve cluster, like a mini brain, at the base of each arm controlling its movement.

The curling and unfurling arms, dotted with more than 2,000 individually moving suction cups, contain two-thirds of the animal’s neurons.

The suckers are equipped with chemical sensors that not only feel, but taste and smell as well.

So while an octopus concentrates on hunting, its arms are moving it forward, testing the water and ocean floor, probing coral crevices and maybe even prying open a clam already caught.

They have eight arms to grab and hold you. If all else fails, octopuses can lose an arm to an attacker and regrow one later.

The ink they spray physically harms enemies. It contains a compound called tyrosinase.

When sprayed in a predator’s eyes, tyrosinase burns predators’ eyes and temporarily paralyzes their senses of smell and taste.

The defensive concoction is so potent, in fact, that OG’s that do not escape their own ink cloud can die. You know, like when you fart in the car. It's deadly ese!

The octopus drills into its prey with its beak and injects venom fatally paralyzing an animal that could otherwise injure the squishy invertebrate OG in a struggle.

Octopuses have only one life to give for Love – Ok, we admit, it sounds better than the truth. The fact is mating, and parenthood are brief affairs for male OG’s who die shortly after. The species practices external fertilization (Que, que? Ours is a family blog so no jokes here!) You touching!

Multiple males either insert their spermatophores directly into a tubular funnel that the female uses to breathe, or literally hand her the sperm, which she always accepts with one of her right arms. No lefties, just the right arms! (researchers do not know why). Afterwards, males wander off to die...happy!

As for the female OG’s, they can lay up to 400,000 eggs, which they obsessively guard and tend to daily. Mama OG's are precious. Prioritizing their motherly duties with thousands of children, females stop eating.

But she doesn’t starve to death–rather, when the eggs hatch, the female’s body turns on her. Her body undertakes a cascade of cellular suicide, starting from the optic glands and rippling outward through her tissues and organs until she dies.

What is left, floating in a mucus cloud around the hatching eggs, is comida for the babies.

Now that is worth dying for, que no?

13 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page